Make Some Noise
by Night Rain Illusion
Summary: Under bizarre circumstances, an amnesiatic Replica Riku and an unorthodox Anti Sora meet and form an alliance. Their goal? To take over the universe in a hilarious fashion of course! But no one ever said that universal domination was going to be easy!
1. An Unlikely Partnership

This is a rather silly idea that I've had in my head for quite sometime, inspired by one of my friends from school. I always liked the Anti Sora from the first Kingdom Hearts game and the Replica Riku was pretty cool as well, so I've decided to write a fic dedicated to the two of them. This part general/friendship, part humor fic, so if you're looking for a laugh and something interesting and different, then look no further!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts yada yada yada belongs to Squaresoft/SquareEnix/whatever name they're going by now, not me blah blah blah you get the idea.**

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**Chapter One: An Unlikely Partnership**

_(A.K.A. The obligatory introduction of characters and weak exposition until the really fun insanity begins)_

The first thing he was aware of was that it was dark. Very dark. If he put a hand in front of his face, he had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to see it.

Then again, maybe opening his eyes would help.

He opened his eyes.

Yep, pretty dark.

Next thing he was aware of was that he was laying on his back and appeared to be in pain. He winced as he sat up, adjusting his eyes to the darkness. He had been laying in the middle of a path that seemed to stretch on forever and ever. Nothing else was around him and he vaguely wondered what would happen if he stepped off the path. It was a regular asphalt path, nothing special about it except that it seemed to be it's own light source, as if was the only thing he could see in the darkness.

Where was he?

Why was he here?

_Who was he?_

And more importantly, why in the world was he wearing a skirt?

He eyed his outfit with disdain. He was wearing a white grass-like shirt and a black and blue outfit with a strange heart symbol on it. He pulled on the edge of the skirt, as if checking to see if it was real. Unfortunately, it was. He pulled down on a strand of white hair that was hanging in his face. Frowning, he let go and crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowing.

_Think...think...what's the last thing you remember?_

That's just it. He couldn't remember anything. Anything that made sense, anyway. All he had was a bunch of random bursts of static (yes, static, as weird as that was) and then flashes of people, such as a boy with brown hair, a really pretty girl with blond hair, and a boy that looked exactly like him but dressed differently, and then nothing but pain and random noises. Had he hit his head?

He checked the back of his head, wincing when he felt a small lump. _Yep, that's going to be the size of Castle Oblivion tommorow._

He shook his head at the thought. What the heck was Castle Oblivion?

Suddenly, there was an odd rustling noise nearby him. He quickly looked about him, a little nervous of what it could be. After all, he had no idea what could be out there. Then again, what else would there be out in a barren wasteland like this?

_Apparently me. _He reminded the narrator.

_**...Oh yeah.**_

_By the way, who are you?_

_**...Your conscience. Now shut up and go back to ignoring me.**_

Anyway, with that weird fourth walling out of the way, he focused once more on the mysterious noise that seemed to be coming closer toward him. On one hand, he wanted to know what it was, in case it was another person that could tell him where he was (or who he was, if that was possible). On the other, it sounded really suspicious and possibly dangerous.

"If anybodies out there, come on out. And if you're some kind of ghost or monster, then I would appreciate it if you stay the hell where you are." he called out into the darkness, hoping to get some kind of response.

At first, the rustling stopped and he was sure that whatever it was had gone. He let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't realized he had been holding.

Quite suddenly, the rustling noise started up again and got closer and closer until without warning, he found himself flat on his back, air suddenly cut off from his lungs. Gasping for air, he looked down, seeing some sort of key-like weapon (a keyblade, his mind suddenly supplied for him) pressing down against his windpipe. It was surrounded by an odd blackish-grey energy and even though it seemed like it would go right through him, it still had enough force to choke him.

He looked up into the yellow eyes of a pitch black creature that was pinning him down to the ground. It looked like a person with spikey hair and baggy clothes, yet it was covered in a dark energy around its body, obscuring anything else that might have identified it as being human. It was grinning down at him rather menacingly.

"Well well well, isn't this a surprise. It's a pleasure to see you again, Creator." it said. It's voice sounded male, but there was something inhuman in it's tone. It raised a clawed hand up so that he could see it. "I'm going to enjoy ripping you to shreds and feasting on your heart..."

"I don't even know you!" he managed to say, not liking the sound of that. _Creator? How does it know me? And why does it have such hate toward me? _

The creature frowned at this, moving the keyblade a little. "How could you forget? You created me as a weapon to use against your best friend. Thrown away when I was of no use anymore and ended up in this place for the past year!"

He coughed. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember you. Heck, I don't remember _anything_ at all. I just woke up here. Now get off me."

Surprisingly, the creature removed the weapon and stepped off of him, looking a little disappointed and curious. As he sat up clutching his throat and trying to force air back into his lungs, the creature was a few inches away, examining him.

"Odd...you look just like him...but your dressed differently...and..."

The creature suddenly leaned forward, head inclined toward his chest, as if listening for something. The closeness was making him uncomfortable and thankfully the creature backed off.

"You don't have a heartbeat."

To hear an odd creature tell you that you don't have a heartbeat is disconcerting to hear. Naturally, he came to the typical conclusion that most come to when being told that.

"Oh my god...I'm dead. I'm dead and I'm a zombie..." he whispered.

The creature rolled it's eyes. "No, you are not a zombie. Dead however, possibly. The only things I know of that don't have hearts are heartless and nobodies. However, even though you have our symbol-", it said, pointing to the heart symbol on the boy's chest, "Most heartless have the beady yellow eyes and an insatiable blood-lust to devour people's hearts. You wouldn't happen to-"

"_No._"

"Then you're not a heartless. Maybe you're a nobody."

"And that would be...?"

"It's the shell that's left behind when someones heart is removed from their body. But...you seem to have something serving a function like a heart. An artificial one, it seems."

For some reason, both terms sounded familiar to him. The heartless, as he now realized what it was, groaned, looking vaguely annoyed.

"Great, just great. I finally pick up on the bastard's scent only to find out that it's just a replica of him."

Suddenly, someone's voice, his own, permeated through the thick fog of his memories, _"I may be Riku's replica, but don't expect us to act the same. I have no intention of imitating some wimp who can't deal with the darkness inside him."_

"Replica Riku."

"Eh?" the heartless appeared to be raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not sure, but I think that's my name."

The heartless didn't say anything for a minute before smiling unpleasantly. "Funny, that was his name too. Riku. Never liked that name."

The heartless turned, raising its arms behind it's head casually and acted like it was going to walk away. "But it doesn't matter, because you're not who I'm looking for. _You're_ just a fake."

_Fake?_

"You're wrong."

The heartless paused, turning back around to face him. The replica's hands curled into fists. "I'm no fake. I may look like him, but I have my own heart."

For some reason, his own words surprised him. They sounded familiar. But he continued on, "And that's more than I could say for you, _heartless_."

It's yellow eyes narrowed and it's mouth curled into a snarl. "I would watch your mouth. I could tear it off your damn face if I wanted to."

The replica felt an odd energy course through him as a bat-wing shaped weapon appeared in his right hand. It felt familiar and seemed to react instinctively to him as he moved into a battle stance. "Try me."

The heartless also moved into a battle stance as well, the keyblade held in the same manner as the replica's weapon. (Soul Eater, his mind also supplied into the gaps) They seemed to have a stare-down of epic proportions that might have bored the heck out of both the readers and the author waiting for something to happen if it had lasted any longer. After a few seconds or more of staring and silence, the heartless suddenly chuckled and shifted out of it's battle stance.

"Forget it. I would be wasting my time with you. Besides, killing the first thing I've met here that can actually talk would be such a waste." It said as it dismissed it's weapon.

The statement confused the replica. "Can't you talk to other heartless?"

"Oh sure, but it's nothing but 'eat hearts' in nearly unintelligible language to humans. In fact, most heartless can't talk to humans, let alone have enough intelligence to have wills, minds, and personalities of their own. To date, there's only two that are like that. One's dead and you're looking at the other." it explained, looking rather proud of this fact.

"How did you do that?" the replica asked, despite himself.

"Well, one day I'm living in the muck of this place, thinking about eating hearts and such, when suddenly from out of nowhere, this book hit me in the back of the head." It said as a book appeared in it's claws in a poof of darkness. It had a picture of a man with white hair and red eyes with a heartless symbol. He had a hand to his chin and looked smart as a title in bold letters said **"Heartless Theories and More by Ansem"**

"Of course, not knowing what the hell this was, I tried to eat it. Didn't really work out, obviously.", It said as the replica noticed how dog-earred it was and the claw/teeth marks in it. "But after I somehow had opened it and had noticed a few words, I became rather curious. So it took me a month before I could actually read this book cover to cover. Speech took a little longer. The book talks of how heartless work and how to control them, as well as how to make one. But that didn't mean I understood it. Not until I read the last part, which was a small section he wrote as instructions in case something happened where he became a heartless. Using the instructions in this, I became more...smarter, you could say."

"Impressive."

"Unfortunately," the heartless frowned as the book disappeared, "It brought back a lot of thoughts and memories I would of otherwise ignored, as well as imitations of feelings that I normally wouldn't have. I may not actually feel them, but I know what it's like. It's like giving a nobody's brain to a heartless. And once that happens, you're almost neither one or the other. You become just a freak. So now, I'm getting out of this hellhole so that I can apply my knowledge to more useful things." it finished, thankful that it would never have to speak that much to explain a plot-hole ever again.

"So wait, you know a way out of here? Where?" the replica asked, glad at the prospect of getting the hell out of this dump.

"I used to know where it was, but the exit...sort of disappeared about a month or two ago."

"How does an exit 'sort of disappear'?"

"If the door is sealed. But I think there was a second way out." The heartless looked him up and down. "You can come if you want, since you seem pretty intellectual and wanting to get out of here too. 'Sides..." the heartless smirked. "This is the first time I've found someone worth talking to."

The replica shrugged before beginning to walk, keeping up with the heartless' pace. He may not have liked this creature that much, but at least it was someone who knew where the exit was. And somehow, it seemed to know things about him, whether they were true or not. Maybe it would help uncover the memories he was missing.

"Mind if I see that book?" he asked, figuring that the book might have something worth reading, if the effect it had on the heartless was an indication.

"Sure. If you want, you can look at this other book that hit me in the back of the head what I believe was last Tuesday. Although I didn't find it as interesting as the last one." it said as it pulled another book out. It was drastically different from the other one, even though it had the same man on the cover. Ansem was wearing a goofy grin, floppy white hat, and a pink kitchen apron. He was doing a thumbs up with one hand and holding a whisk in the other under the caption **"Down Home Cooking: In the kitchen with Ansem the Wise!"**

"Err...no thanks." the replica said as it took the first book. He flipped it open to the first chapter, _"How to tell if you are a heartless or about to become one. The first key would be the gaping hole in your chest, since you seem to have grabbed a hold of this book instead of seeking medical attention in the short time span you have left until..."_

There was about a stretch of a few minutes of awkward silence before the replica spoke up. "So, what are you going to do when we get out of here?"

"Take over the world." it stated casually.

The replica nearly dropped the book. "What!?"

"OK, technically universe, there's too many damn worlds to take over. But anyway, after we get out of Kingdom Hearts, I'm going to rally the heartless and take over the universe. Then again, the heartless are distracted easily, and I need a base of operations...But anyway, after I've done so, I'll hunt down the bastards that I feel are responsible for my existence and for their killing of my race. All that good stuff." it said, ignoring the look on the replica's face.

"Right..." the replica said skeptically, starting to wonder if this was a bad idea to be hanging around someone as insane as this creature.

The heartless suddenly turned to him. "Want to join me?" it asked.

"Eh!?"

"You know, be evil and all that."

"...I'm not really into evil."

"...I'll give you food."

"Sorry, but I'm not going to turn evil for free food." (Although the idea did sound very appealing to the now hungry replica)

"Look, do you want to help me take over the universe? It's not like you've got anything to do once you get out of here. Hell, you barely know your own name. So maybe you can help me out with this until you figure out what it is you're going to do or if you get your memories back."

Surprisingly, there was logic in it's words. What would he do after he left? Where could he possibly go if he didn't know anything about himself? Sure, taking over the universe didn't really sound like his kind of thing, but at least it was something to do for the time being until he recovered his memories.

"...Fine, but if we're going to take over the universe, then I should know my partner's name." the replica replied.

The heartless smirked before stopping and extending a clawed hand.

"Anti Sora. You can call me Anti. I rather dislike the name Sora."

"Why?"

"The bastard you're modeled after modeled me after his best friend. Didn't like him either, frankly. In fact, his friend killed me and that's how I ended up here."

A mental image of the strange boy with spiky brown hair from earlier weaved in and out as he grasped the other's hand. "Replica Riku, as I told you before. I guess you can call me Riku or something. Until I can come up with a better name of some kind."

"...Repliku?"

"...I think not."

"Suit yourself."

They shook.

A partnership had been formed.

"..."

"..."

"...I still think Repliku would be a good-"

_"No."_


	2. Commodore Repliku

I forgot to mention in the first chapter that this fic wouldn't be possible without one of my friends from school, who has strange but hilarious ideas. Anyway, sorry for taking so long to those that have interest in this fic! Like I stated before, I don't own Kingdom Hearts!

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**Chapter Two: Commodore Repliku**

_(A.K.A. In which they steal a pirate ship and crash it into the side of a clock tower, mentally scarring a small child in the process)_

"So how long does this road go on anyway?"

"Actually, it's endless."

The replica sputtered at this. "Then how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?"

"Sometime's a door appears now and again or the path suddenly splits off in a different direction. We just have to wait until one of those things happens." Anti explained.

"And how long would that take?"

"Minutes...days...weeks...months...years..."

"D-don't say that with such a neutral attitude!"

"You really need to lighten up, you know that?"

The replica wanted nothing more than to strangle something. "Look, we can't just keep wandering around forever! It's not like a door is just going to conviently appear in the middle of the path, now is it? Geez, I knew this was a bad idea right from the start. I don't even know why I listened to you when you clearly don't know what you're doing. I should of gone in the opposite direction and asked for someone else's help, possibly someone more reliable that doesn't lack a heart!"

He looked over at Anti, who had been watching him with mock interest, arms crossed. "You done yet? Because in the midst of your rant, a door just now appeared in the middle of our path."

He looked up at the pristine white door sitting in front of them in the middle of the path. "Oh...so there is. Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize. Villians don't apologize for anything." Anti said before sticking a foot out and tripping the replica as he started to head for the door.

"Hey!"

"Shouldn't of been walking in the path of my foot. Now let's get going already, don't just waste my time lying on the ground like that." Anti called over his shoulder as he walked up to the door, looking around behind it at the path that continued to stretch on behind it. Cursing, the replica stood up and dusted himself off before coming up next to the heartless.

"So where does this door lead?" he asked.

"I don't know. I can't wait to find out." Anti said, and the replica couldn't help but notice the fanged grin and the hungry look in the heartless's eyes.

"Well, I guess there's only one way to find out..." The replica said as he reached out and grabbed the door handle, twisting it open. The door swung open, revealing a starry night sky. They took a few steps outside, looking around with wonder. Replica ran over to the columns of metal standing up nearby, looking down on the tiny town below.

"Where are we?" he called over his shoulder to the heartless. Anti paced a few steps, claws clicking on the walls nearby.

"I'm not sure, but I think I've been here before."

Suddenly, there was a loud ring, like a gong. The replica quickly looked up and saw a large clock face as two hands pointed to the 12. They both stayed silent for a few moments as the clock rang eleven more times.

"Wait a minute, I know where we are..." the heartless spoke up, a slightly harded tone to its voice. "This is the clock tower from that world I was in before I died. I remember thinking how irritating the ringing was here. Which means..."

The heartless took a couple more steps to put himself next to his new companion, looking around as well. "The pirate ship should be around here somewhere."

"Pirate ship?"

"Ship that flew in the sky and came back and forth to this place from somewhere called Neverland. Run by some pirate that had emotional problems involving crocodiles."

"I...see..." The replica couldn't help but wonder if this was still a bad idea to be hanging around Anti. Suddenly, Anti pointed a clawed hand at something in the sky to their right.

"There."

He looked where the heartless was pointing and saw a large red object lazily drifting a couple yards from the clock tower. He turned as Anti suddenly started walking fast toward a nearby wall. "We need to get to that ship now. It can serve as a means of transportation to other worlds and our ticket out of here."

The replica watched as the heartless placed a hand to the wall and slowly began to sink into the wall. When the replica didn't follow, Anti suddenly reappered, sticking his head out from the wall. "Aren't you coming?"

"I can't go through walls."

Anti frowned. "How do you even know that? Have you ever walked through walls before?"

"Well no..."

"Then maybe you can. Go on and try it. I suggest a running start in your case."

He took a deep breath before running as fast as he could at the wall. However, he merely slammed into the wall, collapsing in pain. "Oww! It didn't work."

The heartless chuckled before emerging from the wall to stand next to him. "I knew it wouldn't work, but that sure was fun to watch."

"Bastard." the replica cursed as he rubbed his face.

"That's what you get for making me have to take the stairs now. Seriously, it would be so much easier for us to go through the walls." Anti said as he made his way to the stairs. The replica stood up, cursing under his breath as he followed Anti up the stairs. They soon reached the top of the tower where the tip of the ship was just a few feet away.

"Ok, we're gonna have to jump on it.", Anti suggested.

"It looks too far away. We'll just end up falling to our deaths."

"We've survived death before."

"...Good point."

The replica sucked in a deep breath before launching himself off the top of the tower. His hands flailed through the air before he managed to grab on to the side of the ship.

"Ok, now get over here and help me u-" he stopped when he noticed that Anti wasn't standing over on the tower.

"Looking for me?" asked a voice above him. He looked up, glaring at the smug Anti floating over him from the side of the ship.

"How did you-"

"Teleportation. Really, you should think about becoming a heartless. Dark Repliku. Sounds kinda sexy, if trying to get girls is your type of thing.", Anti said, having too much fun with this.

"Just help me up!"

"No, I'm pretty content with leaving you on the side. I suggest holding on tightly, I hear flying through space is dangerous. Whether it's the 'reckless driving' part or the 'normally can't breathe in space' part is the most dangerous will be exciting to find out, won't it?" Anti laughed before sinking back into the side of the ship. The replica cursed before climbing as quickly and carefully as he could up the side of the ship until he reached the railing. He climbed up and over it, glaring at the heartless watching him with amusement.

"What took you so long?" Anti asked with fake interest. "I was getting bored."

"You're a jerk."

"Tell me something I don't know. Now let's figure out how to fly a pirate ship..." Anti said as he walked over to the wheel, examining it. "I guess you spin this thing in order to get it moving.", and with that said, he lazily turned the wheel to the right.

Suddenly, the ship lurched forward, crashing into the side of the tower. Anti muttered an "whoops" before turning the wheel to move away from the tower. A small chunk of it was missing, but it had not decimated the tower. He glanced over at the replica, who was gripping onto the railing for dear life.

"Could you warn someone before you do something like that?" he asked.

"At least I figured out how to drive the ship!" Anti said cheerfully like a small child that figured out two plus two. He sighed, deciding not to argue with the heartless any further. "I bet we just scared a bunch of people, seeing a pirate ship crash into their tower."

"Actually, this ship is invisible to everyone except for those that don't have hearts, pirates, or children. Or something like that." Anti said as he turned the wheel a little to make it veer to the left away from the tower.

Meanwhile, a small child was gaping and pointing out the window. "Mom! Mom! That pirate ship crashed into the tower!"

"For the last time, there is no pirate ship out there!"

"But I really-"

"That's it, we're putting you back on your medication!"

"Mom!"

So anyway, back at the pirate ship...

"Hey, look what I found!"

The replica turned from where he had been looking over the side of the railing, and gasped, seeing no heartless driving the ship. Instead, the heartless was trying on a large pirate hat with a red feather it had found. "This hat's pretty sweet. I found one for you too." Anti held out another hat that looked similar to the other.

"Where did you get those? And more importantly, why aren't you driving the ship!?"

"Off those dead bodies over there. And unlike you, I actually care about my appearence."

"You can't steal hats off dead bodies! That's just-wait, what's wrong with my appearence?" he asked, looking himself over.

"That skirt is so last season."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything!?"

"Shouldn't you be driving the ship? We're about to crash into the tower again."

The replica quickly grabbed the wheel and turned it, avoiding the tower. "You're the one that's supposed to be driving!"

"Well congrats, I've promoted you from First Mate Repliku to Commodore Repliku. Now start driving the ship before we hit the tower a third time." Anti said as it slipped a feathered hat on his head. He sighed. "I thought I said not to call me that."

"Sorry, that's what I'm calling you and I'm sticking to it. Get used to it, I don't like changing names." Anti said as he straightened his hat. The replica rolled the name around a little in his head and sighed. It wasn't like he could think of anything better besides the name of the person he apparently looked like.

"So if I'm Commodore, what does that make you?"

"Lord Anti."

"Figures."

"Don't make me make you walk the plank."

"Since when do you know pirate lingo?"

"Since who cares, now start driving me ship properly!"

"Anti, I'll turn this ship around if I have to."

"And go where?"

"Back to..." he trailed off as he looked behind him and noticed the world was slowly being engulfed in darkness. He turned to glare at the heartless. "What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did it?"

"Who else would?"

"Alright fine, I might have unleashed some heartless to take over the world."

"Looks like they're just eating everyone's hearts..." Repliku (yes, that's his name now) observed.

"Isn't that the idea?"

"How are we supposed to take over the universe if you destroy worlds along the way?"

"Oh damn, I should of known. Oh well, better luck next time." Anti said idly. Repliku sighed as Anti looked around. "So how come you're sticking with me even after I got you out of that hellhole?"

"I have amnesia, and it's as if I have anything else to do. Besides, if I had stayed behind, I would have gotten killed just now, wouldn't I?"

"Good point. We'll make a great team, you and I. And who knows, maybe you'll get your memory back along the way." Anti said as he strolled about the ship.

"Yeah...maybe..." Repliku said to himself, attempting to concentrate on driving and attempting to ignore Anti in the background who was summoning up heartless to walk off the plank.

"Avast ye scallywags! I command ye to walk the plank! Ye sha-ah forget it, just jump off the plank already." he heard Anti say in the background, and he couldn't help but smile at his funny yet crazy companion, wondering if he was just as crazy as Anti.

_I'm doing this until I figure something out or get my memory back...I have to find out who I am..._

And thus, their adventure to take over the universe had truly begun.

"Hey Repliku, you might want to shake your hat out, I think there's a rat chewing a hole through it."


	3. Home Sweet Home

So, since some more interest has been shown in the wacky adventures of Anti and Repliku, then we shall continue. Now that they've gotten out of Kingdom Hearts and have a means of transportation, where will their base be? Let's see to find out...

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**Chapter Three: Home Sweet Home**

_(A.K.A. In which our villains find a base of operations to begin their global-I mean, universal conquest)_

"So where exactly are we going?" Repliku called over his shoulder at the heartless leaning against the railing.

Munching on what appeared to be an apple, Anti made a vague gesture with his claws, "Just keep going until you run into a world. We need to find a secret base for us to begin universal conquest."

Repliku stared at what Anti was eating. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Anti asked, and as he said this, something red was dribbling down his mouth.

"I-is that what I think it is!? Are you actually eating someones heart!?"

"I'm a heartless, what did you expect for me to eat?"

Repliku put a hand to his mouth, "That's disgusting!"

"I was starving! So tough noodles." Anti muttered as he ripped another chunk out of it, causing Repliku to temporarily leave the wheel to throw up over the side of the ship. He did not return until he was sure that Anti was finished, and soon resumed his position at the wheel, looking somewhat green in the face. He then spotted a planet nearby, one that looked like nothing but ocean, yet one could see a city that was under the water.

"What about that one?"

Anti glanced at it. "Too underwater."

"That one?" Repliku asked, pointing to one that looked like a desert world.

"Too dusty. Oh, how about that one?" Anti asked, pointing to something next to them.

"Anti...that's a whale...that's heading straight for us!" Repliku quickly turned the wheel, narrowly avoiding Monstro as the whale continued on its way past them. "We need to find somewhere that no one is going to look. Some place that's conveniently vacant that no one would suspect."

"Like that one?"

Which was a large castle with a bright glowing neon sign pointing to it that proclaimed "Vacant and Unsuspecting Castle-Perfect for Beginner Villains!"

Repliku shook his head. "Nah, that sign is a dead giveaway. People would obviously think that there are bad guys there."

"Good point. Then let's go to that one. That place looks pretty damn evil."

Repliku looked where he was pointing, frowning as he read the convenient signs floating about. "That's Halloween Town."

"No, the place next to that."

"...That's Disney Castle."

"Exactly."

"No, Anti."

Anti pouted. "Fine, you pick someplace then."

Repliku looked around before spotting a small town. "That one looks interesting. Not as many people, and you could just take the hearts of any people that are there. And I doubt anyone would know that it's a villain's base."

"Hmm...alright. Set sail for...what's it called?"

"According to the sign, it's called Traverse Town."

"For Transvestite Town!"

"Anti, you know that's not what I said."

"Said what?"

"Transvestite Town."

"Haha, you said 'transvestite'. Someones having dirty thoughts today, aren't they?"

Repliku simply threw his hands up in the air in frustration, not even bothering to argue with the heartless. Instead, he drove toward the town and was soon hovering over the Second District next to the bell tower.

"How do you even park this thing?" Repliku wondered aloud as he attempted to find someway to keep it steady next to the tower.

Anti held up a giant rusty anchor. "I guess we use this thing."

He then picked it up with rather impressive strength, and hurled it as hard as he could. It collided into the side of a nearby building, demolishing a perfectly good building. Cursing, Anti pulled the anchor back up and tried again, and this time it swung around one of the pedestals of the tower and stayed without demolishing it.

"There, that should do it." Anti said, pleased with himself.

"Good, now we can...what are you doing?" Repliku asked, watching Anti taking a bar and wedging it through the spokes of the wheel that controlled the ship.

"Making it so that no one can steal the ship, duh."

Repliku ignored him as he carefully climbed over the side of the ship, shimmying down the chain of the anchor until he was safely on the other side.

"Ok, now you can-how did you get here so quickly?" Repliku asked, jumping slightly when he realized that Anti was right next to him.

"Again, heartless powers. Keep up with the program, will you?"

Repliku watched as he began to look the tower up and down. "Hmm...this place needs a new look, something that says, 'This is an evil menacing tower, so get the hell out, however feel free to take a pamphlet on how we plan to enslave you on the way out.' type of thing."

Anti snapped his fingers, and suddenly, several Shadows appeared in front of them. "You guys take care of any people inside, and make sure to spread some darkness throughout the inside; some of you take care of the outside. Also, some of you should repaint the walls. I'm rather fond of periwinkle blue. And you," he paused, pointing to one, "Go make me a sandwich. The rest of you, hop to it!"

The Shadows disappeared. Anti and Repliku watched as the tower slowly became covered in darkness, like long vines stretching around the tower. Soon, the entire tower had been changed completely into a large, menacing tower that loomed over the district, long dark vines stretching slowly across the ground and over nearby buildings.

"Gee, Anti, if you can do stuff like this, I'm surprised you didn't beat the real Sora back then."

"That's because back then I was a mindless idiot."

"Kind of like how you are now?"

"...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

The Shadows reappeared again, reporting in high squeaky voices that their work was complete. _"And here's your sandwich!"_ said the one holding a plate above it's head with the sandwich.

"Good." Anti said, taking the sandwich from it and eating it in one bite. He then addressed them once again, "Alright, go spread some panic in the third district and this district for any humans wandering around...and you, go make me a sandwich." he ordered, once again pointing to the one from before.

_"But didn't you just eat a sandwich?"_

"Oh I'm sorry, did I ask for questions? No, I asked for a sandwich. Now go."

The little Shadow growled a little before vanishing as Anti said, "And this time, less blood and more ham! God, it's so hard find reliable help these days..."

He turned to Repliku, who was staring at him incredulously. "What?"

"Are you an ass to everyone?"

"Of course. Why, did you think you were a special case or something?"

"Not really."

"Good. Now if you're done playing twenty questions, let's go check out the first district. And hopefully Paco will have gotten me a sandwich by then."

Repliku raised an eyebrow. "Paco?"

"That's my new name for him for now on."

"And his new purpose in life is to fetch you sandwiches?"

"Exactly!"

"...You're a jerk."

"I know, aren't I great?" Anti said cheerfully, to which Repliku just rolled his eyes.

----------------------------

It was a quiet evening in Traverse Town's 1st district, with people calmly strolling about and minding their own business. These were people that had either chosen to remain behind while the others had left to Hollow Bastion, or new residents that had drifted there from their own worlds.

Suddenly, the doors to the second district burst open, causing several people's heads to turn as a voice replied, "There wasn't a need to kick the doors open, Anti."

"Yes there was."

"No there wasn't, now we're going to have to refurbish the doors. Do you have any idea how much it costs to fix doors these days?" Repliku asked, pausing to examine them.

"Can you go five minutes without nagging me? First it's how I treat my employees, next about how I treat doors. There is just no pleasing you, is there?" Anti threw his hands up in the air as he strolled into the first district. The people were too shocked at their appearance to take notice of the fact that one of them was a heartless. When Anti was aware that he was being stared at, he gave a jovial wave.

"'Sup humans? I'm Anti, and I'm going to be taking over your planet as your supreme leader."

"Ahem." Repliku coughed from where he stood by the doors. Anti rolled his eyes.

"OK, one of the supreme leaders. So if you'll just calmly stand at attention and not run around panicking..."

"Oh my god, that's a heartless!" someone shouted, having noticed for the first time.

"And they're going to take over our planet!"

"Quick, everyone scream and run around in circles!", someone else suggested, which all of them started to do.

Anti didn't even bother looking at Repliku, who was holding his sides and trying not to laugh as Anti attempted to gather order. "Hey, this is exactly what I told you not to do! Come on...stop..."

Anti drew in a deep breath before screaming, in the loudest and most scariest voice that even sent a shiver down Repliku's spine, "I'M GOING TO DEVOUR YOUR HEARTS IF YOU DON'T KINDLY SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW, GOT THAT!?"

Everyone immediately stopped running around and screaming, cowering in place as Anti continued calmly, "That's much better. Now, I know you all are thinking that you're going to die, which is probably true. However, at the moment, I can't afford to kill every human on this planet, otherwise I'd end up starving. So here's what we are going to do. I will allow for most of you to live. In return, I ask not to go into the second or third districts, as I will be claiming those two districts as our territory. If anyone asks, there are an infestation of rats. Me and my associate will be allowed to freely roam this district whenever we want. Otherwise I will tear your skin off and feed you to the heartless. Any questions?"

Someone in the back raised a hand. In response, Anti conjured a dark ball of energy in one hand and threw it at the person, obliterating them where they stood. "Any other questions?" Anti smiled in the most kindest and yet creepiest smile that a heartless could ever smile. Everyone quickly shook their heads.

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have values to twist and minds to warp. And interior decorating to manage; I'm thinking that a nice blood-red carpet would work wonders for the entrance-way..." Anti said cheerfully as he and Repliku returned to the second district, doors shutting behind them, the last thing being heard by everyone was, "And Paco, get me more sandwiches!"

As soon as they were gone, one human swore loudly to another, "Great, just bloody great. This never would of happened if Leon and the others hadn't left!"

Meanwhile, in Hollow Bastion...

"Achoo!" Leon sneezed as they were putting together a new building.

"Something wrong, Leon?" Aerith asked.

"Maybe someone was talking about him..." Yuffie suggested, earning a glare from Leon.

"Of course not! Although, I've got the strangest feeling that someone named Paco is being forced to deliver sandwiches to someone."


	4. Wing It

Sorry for the delay! First world up, Agrabah! (Part One) I'll try not to take too long with updates from now on!

* * *

**Chapter Four: Wing It**  
(Agrabah: Part One)  
_(A.K.A. Anti and Repliku wing it, and Aladdin is easily swayed by spaghetti-strap purse-things)_

It was rather quiet in the Tower of Darkness (trademark), also sometimes referred to as the "Castle of Fear", or (Anti's personal favorite) "Anti and Repliku's Super Awesome Building of DOOM", which was quickly shot down due to the fact there was no way in hell anyone would take them seriously with a name like that. So instead, they just settled with the first one for simplicity's sake. (Or, if Anti was in a particular mood, it would be "The Fortress of Evil Solitude")

The bad thing, Repliku realized as he sat at the "Table Of Business", fingers drumming on the surface, was that everything was black. The walls, the ceiling, the table, even the coffee. In fact, it pretty much made him stick out like a sore thumb in contrast. It took forever for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, cursing the fact that Anti could actually see in the dark. It also made him kind of nervous that the only source of light in the rooms were his eyes, as well as the thousand or so of various heartless that lingered around the room.

"Don't you think we should paint the rooms a different color?"

"Like what?" Anti asked, and Repliku had to strain his eyes a bit in order to even tell where he was amongst the various other yellow dots of light.

"Oh I don't know, how about a color I can actually see?" Repliku said, gesturing to the walls.

"Actually, the walls are periwinkle blue, you just can't see them because there's a bunch of heartless climbing on the walls."

"That's the other thing, don't you think this is a bit...much?" Repliku pointed out as he quickly kicked away a small Shadow that was in the process of devouring his left foot.

"Fine, I'll take care of it. Clear out guys." Anti ordered the heartless around them. The heartless shrank into the walls, and now the room was no longer dark, but for someone who got so used to sitting in the dark like Repliku, it didn't have a positive effect on him as light quickly swam in to replace the darkness. Rubbing his eyes at the sudden brightness, he looked over to the source, which was a window with drawn blue curtains.

"...We have a window in this room?" Repliku asked, amazed that he had never noticed one there before. Anti merely rolled its eyes.

"With your curiosity about windows aside, we need to get down to business. It's been about a week since we've moved in here and fixed the place up and caused some terror to spread among the locals, but now we need to start talking about plans to take over the other worlds." He stated, rather business-like now.

"Alright, so what's your plan?"

Anti kicked its feet up on the table, looking thoughtful. After a few minutes, Anti shrugged. "I figure I'm just going to wing it."

"You can't be serious."

"As serious as a heart attack." (_Well, actually, those are kind of funny, especially when I'm the one that causes them..._)

"Something which you can't experience since you _lack_ a heart."

"...If you were trying to be funny or insulting, it didn't work."

Repliku sighed. "Seriously, what makes you think you can just wing it without a plan? Because frankly, let's face it. We're not exactly all powerful enough to just show up on a world and say 'This is ours now' and get away with it without getting our asses handed to us by potential super-powered 'heroes' that may reside on that world. Most famous villains have huge lairs, large armies, and ridiculously complicated plans and super powers as well as one death laser. What do we have? A small army of heartless, there's me, who has amnesia and is still for some reason wearing a skirt for Ansem's sake, and you, who reminds people of the result of eating bad meat."

"Exactly. Well, not the bad meat part, which I'm very disappointed in you for thinking so badly about me, and as far as the skirt thing I think it isn't so bad since it shows off your hips, but in the bit about the ridiculously complicated plans. Tell me, did those ridiculously complicated plans _actually work_ in the end?"

"...Well, no...wait, what about the ski-"

"Exactly. Those plans never worked and the villains are defeated by the hero. Which is why I say we try winging it without a plan."

Repliku sighed once more. In a strange, otherworldly sense, it made...well, sense. Except for the skirt thing, which now he couldn't help but feel vaguely disturbed that the heartless had apparently been checking out his hips. "So, what now?"

Anti turned around, rummaging through a bookcase behind him ("We have a bookcase in here?" "Why are you so surprised?" "I must of not of noticed it with all those heartless that were on the walls earlier" "Yeah, sure you didn't...") before pulling out a map. Spreading it out on the table, it revealed many worlds plotted on the map.

"OK, since the recent closing of Kingdom Hearts thanks to Sora, _the brat, _the good news is that all the worlds came back into existence. However..." Anti took a red marker and put an X over Neverland/London, "Since I sort of accidentally unleashed a wave of heartless there, this world's gone now."

"We could of had one world already under control if you hadn't done that, you know."

"Well, I didn't much care for it, seeing as it was the place I died at. Besides, it was just a boring little city with a flying pirate ship, a man with an irrational fear of crocodiles and alarm clocks, and a strange boy that didn't want to grow up that kidnapped other children to take them to a small island somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle."

"...What?"

"Don't ask. Long story. So we've got all these other worlds to look into. Take your pick. I'll let you choose the first world we go after."

Repliku scanned the map of worlds before pointing to one. "How about this one?"

"Ugh, not that one. If I want to see pink elephants, I'll go buy some drugs in the alleyway a block from here. Pick something else."

Repliku scowled at him before pointing to another world. "This one?"

"Also trippy. They have furniture on the _ceiling _for Ansem's sake..."

"Well, we're going to have to take care of them at some point..."

"_Well_, I'd like to be...you know, _not stoned out of my mind_ on our first world conquest. Maybe later when we become arrogant and overconfident enough to think it wouldn't be a problem."

Repliku rolled his eyes at him before pointing to a world indicating the desert world they had passed by on their way to Traverse Town, which was labeled 'Agrabah'. "Then let's go here."

"The dust and dryness will be bad for my skin..."

"You don't have skin!"

"OK, fine!" Anti threw his hands in the air. "We'll go there. Satisfied?"

Repliku nodded, to which Anti continued, "And it's just a desert with a small town. How hard could it be to take over anyway?"

* * *

As it turned out, flying a pirate ship through a sandstorm had not been the best of ideas, Repliku realized moments later when the ship ended up halfway buried into the sand when crash-landing outside the town. Shaking sand out of his clothes and hair, he heard Anti groan as he looked around the ship.

"It's going to take hours to pull this thing out of the sand, you realize that, right?"

"Well, when we enslave this town, we can just have them dig it out! Would that be better?" Repliku asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"...Actually it would. Good thinking there. Anyway, just remember that we can't cause a scene until we scout out the entire town and figure out if this dustball is really worth taking over."

Repliku just rolled his eyes at him as they walked through the entrance, taking in the sights it had to offer. It was mostly just a dusty little bazaar with busy people walking around as well as a couple of seedy-looking ones that were lurking in the shadows, perhaps waiting for a chance to steal something at a moment's notice. (Repliku thought this as he noticed one eyeing a lady with a spaghetti-strap purse of some kind, and then couldn't help but question why the lady would even use a spaghetti-strap purse thing that was ridiculously easy to steal in a shady-looking town in the first place)

Luckily, Anti snapped him out of his thoughts as he heard other looking around with vague interest. "Huh. So this is Mexico..."

"Anti, this is not Mexico. It's Agrabah."

Anti pointed a finger in his face. "Hey, I'm all powerful, so if I say we're in Mexico, then we're in Mexico damnit!"

"Then rename it that when we take over it..."

"No, when we take over it, it then becomes New Mexico."

"...By any chance, did the beaker you were undoubtedly contained in when Riku first tried to create you get dropped onto the floor and 'cause your brain to get scrambled?" Repliku asked before walking off ahead of Anti at a fast pace so as not to be too close when Anti actually caught on to what he had just said.

"Well, actually, that Riku kid _did_ accidentally lose his grip, _the dumb klutz_, on the-HEY!! GET BACK HERE!!"

* * *

As Repliku strolled through the town, he couldn't help but notice some funny looks being directed at him as well as being pointed at or a few people whispering to each other in hushed tones, glancing over the shoulder at him occasionally. Repliku looked himself over, wondering what it could be.

_It's the skirt, isn't it? Although now that I think about it, Anti was right, it really does show off my hips..._

He shuddered slightly at the thought, making a mental note to never think that ever again. _Maybe it's the hair or skin...I probably look like an albino or something...either that or a starved rabbit-damn it, my hips are not that skinny!_

As he was walking, he suddenly bumped into something very solid. And moving. And living, judging by the "Ouch, watch we're you are going would you?" that the solid object responded with after being bumped into.

"Yeah, sor-" he started to say, only to be met with a very pointy sword in his face.

"...Crud."

"You're with those heartless things, aren't you?" the man asked. The chattering monkey with him that Repliku noticed for the first time chattered angrily in agreement.

_Gee, what gave that away, the logo on my chest or my companion that's clearly lacking a heart? _Repliku couldn't help but think sarcastically, just when said companion appeared, having caught up with him. Anti didn't seem to notice his partner's predicament, as he stood next to him, arms crossed.

"You know, I may be lacking a heart, but I do have feelings. OK, no I don't, but it's best not to piss off an already unstable heartless. On the bright side", he said as he revealed a spaghetti-strap bag, "I managed to steal this off some chick in the bazaar...can you believe that people here are stupid enough to have these things when this place is clearly inhabited by thieves?"

"Uh, Anti, I'd love to agree with you, but in case you haven't noticed, there is a sword in my face and a monkey that quite possibly has not had all its shots threatening us." Repliku pointed out.

"Hey, Abu takes offense to that!" the man pointed out. His chattering monkey nodded in agreement.

"So? Just kick his ass and kill the monkey." Anti whispered under his breath to him.

"I thought you said that we weren't going to cause a scene, and I'm sure murdering him and his potentially diseased monkey in broad daylight would count as causing a scene!"

"No it won't. These people don't care if a street beggar gets killed. Watch." Anti demonstrated as he lazily ripped his claws through an old man that was walking past them. As the man's body collapsed on the ground, a couple of people looked up with vague curiosity before returning to their own devices. Even when Anti, with no sure amount of subtlety, began to dig its claws into his chest, even amongst the old man's cry of "My heart!", the people looked to each other with vague confusion.

"What was that?"

"Don't know. Must of been the wind..."

"See? No one would notice if we killed him and his monkey." Anti said in a bored tone as he carelessly wiped the blood from his claws off on Repliku's arm.

"You creatures better just go back to wherever you came from or else." the man said, attempting to appear unfazed by what had just happened. Anti held up his hands in mock surprise.

"Oh my, he's got a sword! Whatever shall we do? Tell you what, I'll give you this purse-thing I just stole off that chick in the bazaar and you look the other way, and we promise not to cause any trouble or disembowel you and your flea-bitten monkey. What do you say, huh?" Anti asked, holding up the purse as a peace offering.

The man put a hand to his chin. "Well, you're _clearly_ evil, but I see no reason to not trust you..."

"Glad to see things can be resolved peacefully." Anti smirked, tossing the purse to him. "Come on, Repliku, we've got places to be."

As they walked away, Repliku had to ask. "I'm confused. _Why_ did that actually work?"

"Because humans are stupid and greedy and easily swayed by prada-brand spaghetti-strap purse-things."

"So where are we going?"

"Well, when I was running around town trying to find you so that I could remove your head from your shoulders because of what you said earlier, I overheard from a suspicious-looking guy hiding in the shadows that there's this cave outside of town that has a bunch of treasures, and everyone knows you have to be filthy rich to be a successful universal overlord, so I figured we should look into that before we upset the establishment here with loose blood-thirsty heartless."

"...Right. That sounds perfectly logical in comparison to everything we've done so far." Repliku stated sarcastically.

Undeterred, Anti pointed out toward the desert. "Next stop, the Cave of Wonders!"

* * *

"...Um, Anti?"

"Yes?"

"How long do you think it would take for us to cross the desert to get to the cave since the ship's stuck in a trench?"

"Well, if I could see through this blasted wind, I would guess...a week maybe?"

"Or 4 months." Repliku suddenly muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."


End file.
